1. Girlfriend Justifying Online Cheating Because I Play Video Games To Play
2. Girlfriend Justifying Online Cheating Because I Play Video Games Online

Learning how to quit video games is without question one of the hardest obstacles to overcome when you first get involved in a journey of self-improvement. Yet it’s also one of the most important.

I think we can all agree that they are also a major cause as to why you lack the skills necessary to attract women, network, and live the life you want to live. Instead of the one where you feel stagnant procrastinating at home night after night.

When you have nothing else to do on a Friday night, what do you do? You play video games.

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When you come home tired after working 9–5, what do you do? You play video games.

When you’re looking to just relax for a minute and kill some time, what do you do? You play video games.

And soon this turns into a major addiction, and one of the hardest ones to break.

Disclaimer: This article is for people who have a desire to quit playing games. If you aren’t looking to quit then this article is not for you.

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The tragedy is that many of the people playing video games night after night are aware of this too! They want to quit but don’t know how. (If this is you, you’ve come to the right place.)Easy anti cheat game violation detected 00000006.

One night you decide you have had enough and you try to quit. Maybe you even type “How to quit playing video games” into Google.

What do the tips say? A bunch of crap that doesn’t work at all because the people who wrote the articles wrote what the obvious tips would be:

• Don’t quit playing them completely, just limit your time.
• Spend more time studying.
• Eat healthier and drink more water.
• Go to a friends house, or to the mall.

What the fuck? Would anybody actually do any of those? Seriously. These people are clueless.

People aren’t going to stop playing video games by studying more. The reason they are playing video games is to avoid studying! Going to a friends house seems like good advice, except their friends are likely also playing video games, so now you are just making the problem worse, and limiting the time you play never works at all.

Does anybody like hearing that predictable advice anyways? I don’t know if you’re like me but when I read that predictable advice it just pisses me off. Straight up. These people are clueless to the real problems.

An example of this is the common advice given to people that are overweight – specifically the ones who are overweight and could do something about it.

What’s the common advice you get when you’re overweight? “Eat healthier and run.” Does that work? Absolutely. But a major reason these people are overweight is because they’re lazy. (I know it’s not the only reason, but let’s be real here, it’s a major one.)

If someone is lazy are they really going to go running? Are you kidding me? I’m an athletic guy, I’m driven, and the amount of effort it takes me to go for a run is tremendous. If I were overweight running would be a huge challenge for me.

Again, eating healthy is good and all, but that takes effort too and changing your eating habits is not exactly an exciting proposition – which is why a ton of people don’t do it. So that advice sucks too.

The right advice is to find a solution to the actual problem: their laziness, lack of drive, lack of self-worth, lack of self-esteem. Figure out that problem and you have a better chance of getting that person on a treadmill. Make sense?

Moving on…

Now before I get into the nitty gritty of this article let me first prove to you that I am a credible source on this topic. I don’t want to be another one of those clueless people I talked about above giving advice on this topic when I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Why should you listen to me?

Growing up I played video games as much as I possibly could. It got to the point where I would refuse to even do any chores around the house because that would take time away from playing video games.

I didn’t play video games casually either; I played them to an extremely competitive level, competed in tournaments and ran one of my teams like you would run a business.

My video game career (I’m not kidding, I viewed it as a career) began playing the original version of Starcraft when it first came out. From here I moved onto Counterstrike 1.6 which ended up being the game I would play the most.

I competed competitively in Counterstrike 1.6, playing in both CAL and CEVO leagues. At one point I was an Admin for the CEVO league.

My CS 1.6 team would practice every day between 4-8 hours (as a team.) When we weren’t practicing, I would practice on my own. I took that game so seriously I actually took lessons for it from one of the best guys in the world.

To improve my play I would study game film. I did whatever I could to get better. I played competitive CS 1.6 for many years.

After my CS 1.6 career ended I started to play World of Warcraft. For the next year I played this game 16 hours a day, every day.

If I didn’t have better things to do I would login to my account and show everybody the total number of days played vs. the number of days I was active in the game. It would blow their mind. I’m not kidding: I played 16 hours a day every day for over a year.

I had the #1 ranked hunter on the server I played on and after transferring to a new server (one of the more popular ones) I was recruited by a top 10 guild in the world to be on their roster.

Before joining this guild I decided to quit the game. This was right around the time that I decided to make a few last ditch efforts to save my relationship (which didn’t work).

Shortly after I met some friends which kick started my journey into self-improvement and the life I live now. I started to play Dota for a few months before deciding to take my life more seriously.

I knew the absolute only way this was going to be possible was if I stopped playing video games all together so I decided that was exactly what I was going to do and in October 2007 I quit them cold mother fuckin’ turkey.

I didn’t touch a video game at all for almost two whole years. Was I tempted to? Of course! There were days when I had a massive desire to go play but I had to stay committed to not touching any of them no matter what.

If a friend invited me over to play, I would decline. If people at my house were playing, I would go do something else. It took a strong will but I was eventually able to break the habit and as time went on it became easier and easier. The temptation faded.

Which brings me to the first and absolute most important puzzle to quitting video games: You must have a firm commitment to not play them.

You can’t limit your time. You can’t use it as a reward. You must quit cold turkey, 110%. You must make that decision. You must make the decision not to touch them at all ever again. I’m not talking about making this decision like you make other decisions which you weren’t really serious about. I mean you seriously have to mean it.

If not you will end up playing them again and again wasting your days playing some stupid video game justifying it in a thousand different ways.

A firm commitment is absolutely crucial but it isn’t enough.

This is something I found out in September 2009 when I started to play them again.

I had just moved to Victoria, BC. I moved out there to get away from Calgary and to experience something new. It was also a challenge to myself to see if I could move to another city and make new friends. At least that’s what I told myself at the time, but the main reason (looking back) that I moved was in order to escape from the life I was living.

I had just moved into a new house with two roommates who I didn’t know very well.

A day or two after I moved in one of my roommates, Ben, and I began to discuss our previous involvement in competitive video games, specifically the game Starcraft. I mentioned how I took the game very seriously and was very good.

He joked about buying the game again so we could play. I told him not to do it because I wasn’t playing any games anymore.

Later that night as I was working away on my computer and he came home and placed Starcraft in front of me. He had gone out and bought it. He thought this was funny. I was laughing on the outside but inside I was pissed. I knew this was going to end poorly.

I gave in and played a few games with him where he absolutely crushed me.

I don’t think he was expecting me to react the way I did.

Humble in defeat I made the decision to do whatever it took to make sure I could crush him anytime I played him from here on out, without cheating of course.

For the next 5 months I played Starcraft 12-16 hours a day. I would spend my time studying strategy, watching film, and playing as much as I could. I pretty much did nothing else. I improved rapidly and as I began to get better Ben started to play more and more as well. By the end our games became extremely intense.

Why did I get so serious about Starcraft again?

The second and third pieces to the puzzle explain it perfectly: video games are a challenge.

Being challenged can be an extremely motivating factor for someone. The challenge of the game is one aspect to why you become as addicted as you do.

They also provide an avenue where you can see constant measurable growth.

Just look at two of the best and most addictive games out right now: World of Warcraft and Modern Warfare 2. In both games you level up (constant measurable growth). It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that leveling up is a very addicting aspect to the game.

After 5 months of doing nothing more than playing Starcraft all day long I moved back home to Calgary.

When I got back home, I still didn’t have much to do other than work and party (something which I wasn’t overly interested in at the time) so I started playing Modern Warfare 2. This went on for a few months before I ended up quitting games again and since then (March 2010) I haven’t touched any video games.

And I highly doubt I will ever again.

Now there’s one last core piece to this puzzle.

On there own all the pieces I’ve talked about thus far are important and do a lot of damage independently, but this last piece is the real x-factor: all good games are social.

The social aspect of these games is what really draws you in. That’s why playing a non-multiplayer game is fun but only for a limited time. Eventually you get bored and do something else. But the games that keep you around for a long time are the ones that are social.

Think about World of Warcraft or Modern Warfare 2. These games added a major social aspect to each game and that is why they have millions of players worldwide, millions of players who play them for a long long time.

You no longer have a reason to go out and meet people if you can just log into a video game that is a ton of fun, let’s you escape from reality, let’s you see constant measurable growth, and continues to challenge you every time you play. When you are still interacting with people, staying home on a Friday night doesn’t look so bad now does it?

If you look at the best and most addicting games out there they all comprise these core pieces. They are challenging, but you can also see constant growth and improvement over time. They allow you to escape, even if only temporarily. They are social.

So now you’re thinking:

“Ok Cam, this all makes sense, I understand how these games are operating and the areas of my life they are filling, but how do I stop playing video games and start living my life!?”

Well other than having that firm commitment you need to fill all four of these areas with new activities.

But don’t forget you play video games because you enjoy them, they are fun, so you can’t fill any of these areas with things that you don’t enjoy!

You have to fill them with activities that you like, ones that you like a lot. You have to have fun doing these otherwise you will just want to go play video games again, because you aren’t getting the same fix that you were from them.

To recap what these areas are:

• A temporary escape
• Constant measurable growth
• A challenge
• Social

So let’s bounce some ideas around. What activities did I start doing to fill those voids allowing me to not need video games for that fix?

I started to work on my social skills. This worked out really well. But only because I took it very, very seriously. If I wasn’t out meeting new people, I was at home studying (reading articles, watching videos, talking with people about it.)

This is something I’ve noticed with a few different students of mine. A lot of them like to play video games. This is no surprise. There are some that have been successful in kicking that desire and others that have not.

The ones that have been successful are the ones that have actually gotten serious about improving their lives and since I’m going to assume that most people reading this have a full-time job (or go to school) they only have so much time in their day for a few things.

“Social Dynamics” obviously offers all 4 of those areas which is why taking it seriously works to get over your video game addiction. But it only works if you take it seriously. If you half-ass it, you won’t get the same results.

Social Dynamics is essentially a proactive approach to living the life you want. What’s your dream? (And when I say dream, I’m talking about a lifestyle – which includes a job, an awesome group of friends, a boyfriend/girlfriend you’re crazy about, passionate hobbies, a purpose.)

And that’s the exact reason why the students I’ve had that weren’t able to get over their addiction weren’t able to do it! They didn’t take this new endeavor seriously enough to fill those voids. So they would find themselves bored at home a lot, and when you are bored at home video games are an easy solution to that problem.

But what if you don’t want to take improving your social skills that seriously. What else could you do?

Well, anything you are actually passionate about will work.

If you want to learn how to play guitar do it! But remember playing guitar is missing one key piece: the social side. So instead of playing by yourself in your room all the time, play with a buddy a couple times a week. Start a band or something. That would make a big difference.

Any activity you enjoy will work! You just have to find something that you enjoy and take it seriously, whether that’s learning how to socialize, learning how to play guitar, or starting a side Internet marketing business (with a friend!).

You just need to make a firm commitment (110%, no half-assing it) and then make sure you fill all four of those voids. Do this and you’re golden!

If you have friends that just sit around all day playing video games… get new friends! It really isn’t that hard. Sure, sometimes that sucks but you need to remember that this is your life and if there’s anything you should take seriously, it’s your life!

You aren’t going to please everybody but if they aren’t down with it they aren’t worth it. Seriously. None of my friends sit around all day playing video games because we share other common interests. They all want to grow and develop other skills. I have friends that dance. Others that play in a band. Personally, I’m learning how to DJ.

You need to find some type of lifestyle activity that you love. Something you are passionate about. Find this and you’ll seriously never have another desire to play video games. Eventually your life will get to a point where you straight up just don’t even have time to think about playing video games.

I’m extremely busy and this causes me not to DJ as much as I want, so if I have any free time I do that! But I also don’t always do it by myself. I have a few friends that share that same passion so we hang out and do it.

DJing allows me to escape from life temporarily and to relax. It’s also a ton of fun, I see constant measurable growth and at the same time, it’s always challenging. See a pattern here? I’ve covered all four pieces!

Now I’m at the point where playing video games just seems completely ridiculous to me.

I hope this article helps you guys out. If you take it seriously and implement the principles I’ve talked about you will be able to do it. You will finally be able to quit playing video games once and for all, giving you the time you need to live the life you want to live. Why do people get enjoyment from cheating in video games.

—

You’re here because you want to quit playing video games.

And over the past four years I’ve worked with thousands of gamers just like you to overcome their gaming problem.

What I’ve learned is that after you read this article there is a difference between those who succeed in and those who do not.

It’s harsh but it’s true. Not everyone succeeds in overcoming their gaming problem.

But what I’ve learned over the past four years is that it all comes down to five simple steps.

The five next steps you need to take right now to succeed in overcoming your gaming problem.

And I’ve put them into an easy-to-read guide for you I call Respawn.

Free Guide: The #1 question I get is what do I fill my time with? Download 60+ new hobby ideas including my top five and other tips.

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By Dr. Brent Conrad
Clinical Psychologist for TechAddiction

Video Game Addiction in Relationships

Girlfriend Justifying Online Cheating Because I Play Video Games To Play

Is It Worth Getting Upset About?
There are those who argue that if this is your situation you really shouldn’t complain too much about it – after all wouldn’t a drug, alcohol, or gambling addiction be much worse? In fact, even if your husband or boyfriend plays video games too much…at least he is right there at home with you and “not out at a bar somewhere”.
Not very comforting is it?
The fact is, you chose to be in a relationship with this person and he chose to be in it with you. And it is safe to assume that you both made this choice because you wanted to share part of your life with this person. To do so however, requires that you actually spend meaningful time together (not just “time”).
Meaningful Time Together is the Key
So what is meaningful time? The definition will obviously vary from person to person, but would you agree that this time has to (at the very least) be both voluntary and chosen over other options?
For example, let’s assume that the only regular time your boyfriend or husband spends with you is during the commute to work or school and for an hour or so during dinner. Otherwise, when he has the option he spends all of his time at home with his favorite console or computer game. His evenings and weekends are devoted to video games, not you…or anything else.
There is nothing wrong with having some alone time, even when you are in a relationship – in fact it is actually quite healthy. The problem here is not that your boyfriend or husband plays video games – you would likely be just fine with occasional play as a way to distress or relax at the end of the day.
The problem is that when given the option, he appears to be choosing video games over you.
How Your Boyfriend’s or Husband’s Video Game Addiction Affects You
Needless to say, feeling as though you are less important than a video game character is not what you were looking for when you entered this relationship. When someone is dating or married to a video game addict, it can have quite an impact on their self-esteem and their security in the relationship.
They may feel:

• Unappreciated
  

• Ignored
  

• Unimportant
  

• Disrespected
  

• Unloved
  

• Taken for granted
  

Girlfriend Justifying Online Cheating Because I Play Video Games Online

Given these feelings, it is not surprising that they start to wonder if the person will ever cut back on gaming time, or if not, whether they should remain in the relationship.
How Do You Know if Your Boyfriend or Husband is Addicted to Video Games?
While there is no formal diagnosis of video game addiction, an obsession with video games can definitely have a negative impact on the quality of a relationship. What are the signs that your husband or boyfriend is addicted to video games?
Take our informal quiz to get a sense of whether computer game addiction is a problem in your relationship.

Video Game Addiction Test for Partners

1) My husband or boyfriend is happier when he is playing video games than when he is spending time with other people.
TRUE FALSE
2) My husband or boyfriend would almost always rather play video games than go out socially.
TRUE FALSE
3) My husband or boyfriend often plays computer games for hours every day even when other responsibilities are not taken care of (e.g., school, work, kids, household chores, etc.).
TRUE FALSE
4) My husband or boyfriend spends almost every evening playing video games.
TRUE FALSE
5) The work or school performance of my husband or boyfriend has suffered as a result of excessive computer gaming.
TRUE FALSE
6) It is common for my husband or boyfriend to stay up past midnight playing video games – and he is often tired the next day as a consequence.
TRUE FALSE
7) My husband or boyfriend no longer participates in sports or activities he once enjoyed and now devotes most of his time to video games.
TRUE FALSE
8) When I ask my husband or boyfriend stop playing and spend time with me (even if he has already been playing for hours) he gets angry or irritable.
TRUE FALSE
9) Other people have commented that my boyfriend or husband plays video games too much.
TRUE FALSE
10) My husband or boyfriend often eats meals while playing computer games rather than taking a break to eat.
TRUE FALSE
11) My husband or boyfriend lies about how much time he spends playing video games.
TRUE FALSE
12) My husband or boyfriend promises to just spend a few minutes playing computer games, but this often turns into hours.
TRUE FALSE

How many of the above statements are true for you? Although there is no cut-off indicating that video game addiction is present, obviously the more items that apply to you the greater the likelihood that excessive computer gaming is damaging your relationship.
Advice for Stopping a Partner’s Video Game Addiction
1. Don’t offer to join him.
If you have already looked for advice online on how to deal with a partner’s video game addiction, you may have seen the suggestion to join him in his hobby. That is, take an interest in video games yourself and this way you can spend time with your boyfriend or husband while you both play games together.
Forget it.
Yes, it is true that in some relationships both partners are gamers and enjoy spending time together in this way – it can happen. However, this usually develops naturally from a mutual, pre-existing interest in video games, and not from one partner who is desperately trying to be noticed and valued in the relationship.
There are many problems with this “solution”, the most obvious being that it does not address the issue of choosing video games over your relationship. The person is still defaulting to gaming when given a choice. Simply being allowed to play with him is unlikely to make you feel any more important in the relationship. Saying “If you want to spend time with me no one is stopping you from picking up a controller” still sends the message that video games take priority over the relationship.
Additionally, you may have absolutely no interest in playing these games…and he may actually prefer to keep gaming as “his thing” (which is usually just fine if he still makes plenty of time for you).
2. Don’t call it an “addiction”.
Although excessive computer gaming is often referred to as an “addiction”, it is not an officially recognized mental health diagnosis. The use of the term addiction is mainly used as a simple way to refer to “unhealthy or excessive video gaming habits that significantly interfere with social, relational, educational, occupational, or emotional functioning”. Clearly it is much easier to use the term “video game addiction” than the previous definition!
Given that video game addiction is not a recognized disorder and that using the term will likely only make your boyfriend or husband even more defensive (“It’s not even a real disorder – how can I be addicted?!”), there is little practical use in using the words “addiction” or “addicted”.
3. Don’t automatically assume that excessive video gaming is a “symptom of a deeper underlying issue”.
Yes, it is true that turning to video games can be a way of dealing with feelings of depression, anxiety, or interpersonal difficulties – this should not be overlooked. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes, video game addiction is simply an unhealthy obsession with games – this is the issue. The person is drawn in by the challenges, strategies, competition, visuals, rewards, and feels a sense of accomplishment when mastering the game (see Why Are Video Games Addictive?).
The problem may not be that he is depressed or socially anxious, but that he has prioritized video games over other activities and has difficulty setting limits on his gameplay.
4. Avoiding or ignoring it won’t make it go away.
If your boyfriend’s or husband’s video game addiction is significantly interfering with the quality of your relationship (you should have a sense of this by taking the quiz above), something needs to be done about it. Too often the partners of video game addicts avoid talking about their concerns because they are afraid that it will make the situation even worse. True, it may cause a temporary increase in the overall stress level in your relationship. However, the purpose of discussing relationship problems (whatever they may be) is to deal with before them become out of control.
Let your partner know:

• that you love him or care about him
  

• that you are concerned about his video game habits (not “addiction”)
  

• that you miss spending time with him
  

• that you believe it is affecting your relationship
  

• that spending so much time with video games makes you feel ignored
  

• that it is very important to you that talk about this and address it as a couple
  

5. It is OK to offer suggestions.
Hopefully your partner is receptive to the conversation above as initiated by you. If so, you may be wondering “now what?” Obviously the steps that are taken from here will depend on your specific situation. However, it is perfectly reasonable to offer a few tentative ideas for his feedback:

“I care about you and I care about this relationship. But sometimes I feel ignored when video games take so much of your time. I think that this is affecting our relationship and I am worried that we may not be spending enough quality time together. I know that you like playing these games and I’m not asking you to stop. But maybe we could agree to cut back to an hour or two per day so that we still have time for each other? This is very important to me. What do you think?”

5. Don’t settle for being less important than computer games.
Asking that your boyfriend or husband spend more time with you than with computer games is not unreasonable! Occasionally, couples become so comfortable with each other that they stop putting time and energy into the relationship. They may mistakenly assume that the other person will always be there no matter what.
When someone stops trying and their partner no longer feels special, appreciated, or important, this is the beginning of the end for the relationship. No one is in a relationship to be ignored – you cannot settle for this and do not need to compete with a video game for attention from your boyfriend or husband.
6. If necessary, consider couples therapy or other treatment options.
If your partner is unwilling to discuss or compromise on his gaming habits even after following the advice above, consider couples therapy.
When suggesting this, try to avoid making statements like “We need to go to couples counselling to fix this”. Also, don’t make this suggestion in frustration or anger after a huge argument. Rather, wait until you are feeling close to your partner. Comment on the good day (or afternoon, or morning, etc.) that you have had together and how great it would be to have more times like this. Introduce couples counseling as a way “feel even closer to each other” and as a way to be “stronger as a couple”. That is, focus on the positives that can come from this rather than presenting it as a last attempt to “save” your relationship.
Often, making the decision to try therapy is the largest hurdle to overcome. If this applies to your boyfriend or husband, suggest it as “An experiment - let’s just see what it is like. No commitments. If it is helpful, great! If not, we don’t need to go back. Can we try this?”
If your partner is still unwilling to try couples counselling, consider looking into individual therapy. If he is reluctant, he may be willing to read this downloadable workbook for video or computer game addiction.
If he refuses all of these options and you strongly believe that obsessive computer use is harming your relationship (and how you feel about yourself), you need to seriously evaluate whether you can continue to invest time and energy into it. Talk to friends and / or family about your situation and ask for their advice or feedback. You may also want to book an appointment with a psychologist or therapist for yourself – this can be very helpful for generating ideas, reviewing your options, and deciding how (or if) to proceed with the relationship.
Leaving the Relationship
It is definitely possible to overcome video game addiction, so don’t give up on your partner too easily. But if it is clear that:
1) playing video games is his number one priority
2) you are putting far more effort into the relationship than he is
3) you often feel ignored in favor of gaming
4) you have repeatedly asked him to cut back on his gaming time with no success
5) he is unwilling to talk about this issue
6) he is unwilling to seek help
7) he is not motivated to change
…this may unfortunately mean that leaving the relationship needs to be considered.

Related & recommended pages on this topic:

• Video Game Addiction Symptoms and Signs
  

• What is Video Game Addiction?
  

• Video Game Addiction Statistics - Facts, Figures, Percentages, & Numbers
  

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